Of Life and Times

These thoughts have been brewing for several days, but did not come together until last night. Elaine and I went to Paul and Tami's house to watch PJ. I have been watching parents and their young children of late, thinking about what I was thinking when I was in their time of life.

When I was younger and was just starting a family, I remember worrying to myself that Eleanor's parents weren't coming to get her. She is our oldest child. That lasted for days. Eventually she became part of our routine. Well actually, she became the routine. But it was a long time before I felt like she was part of me. I don't know if others have that trouble with their first child, but I did. I spent a lot of time looking at her and trying to imagine what she would look like or act like as a teenager or adult. Though my mind came up with all the cultural cliches that I was raised to expect to happen to any young woman, I still could not see past that little sleeping form in my arms.

Now that I have raised, not only Eleanor, but four others as well, and each of them has grown up and moved away, most to start their own families, my perspective is vastly different. I look at PJ, for example, and see him as he might be in kindergarten, as a Deacon or Priest. I see the potential for rebellion and the potential for a Mission and marriage. Now I can play out his life in so many ways, each based on the events of his life, the attitudes of his parents, and his personal decisions. I can see it all because I have seen four children go through the process. It is all relevant experience for me. I've seen the variations on the general theme.

It puts me in awe of my mother who is watching a fourth generation grow up. I can't imagine what her perspective must be.