Thursday, March 18, 2010
9:20 AM | Posted by
Unknown
Just a quick thought - Today I was talking with Elaine, before I took her in to school, about life in general. On the way back from dropping her off I had a flash of insight about myself.
The parable of the talents popped into my head. I thought about the qualities of the three servants. Then it hit me, I am a third servant kind of person. I have always known that I was afraid of life. I have deliberately stayed away from it for fear of contamination. I have been afraid that if I got too close I would become defiled by all the evil out there, and was more afraid that I wouldn't be able to deal with the evil in myself. Don't get me wrong. I am not afraid of what the Lord will do to me in the day of Judgment. I know he is kind and loving and will give me every consideration He can. It is me I am afraid of.
Part of the flash that hit me showed me that in the day of Judgment it is I who will be worthy of condemnation because I refused to use the gifts God gave me to bless the lives of His other children. I will have, if you will, buried them out of fear of what might happen were I to openly use them. I have lost so many years crawling around in the dark, looking out with envy at the experiences and accomplishments of others. I have always wondered what they have that I don't. Now I know. They haven't held back for fear of not being stellar at whatever they wanted to participate in. I have.
I don't know what it will take, or how I will accomplish it, but I need to learn to put myself out there and take some risks so that in the end I won't be worthy of my current rebuke, "Thou wicked and slothful servant." Sounds harsh? Well it isn't, considering how I have lived my life. I need to change what He is going to say to me, because the current path is the last one I ever wanted to be on.
The parable of the talents popped into my head. I thought about the qualities of the three servants. Then it hit me, I am a third servant kind of person. I have always known that I was afraid of life. I have deliberately stayed away from it for fear of contamination. I have been afraid that if I got too close I would become defiled by all the evil out there, and was more afraid that I wouldn't be able to deal with the evil in myself. Don't get me wrong. I am not afraid of what the Lord will do to me in the day of Judgment. I know he is kind and loving and will give me every consideration He can. It is me I am afraid of.
Part of the flash that hit me showed me that in the day of Judgment it is I who will be worthy of condemnation because I refused to use the gifts God gave me to bless the lives of His other children. I will have, if you will, buried them out of fear of what might happen were I to openly use them. I have lost so many years crawling around in the dark, looking out with envy at the experiences and accomplishments of others. I have always wondered what they have that I don't. Now I know. They haven't held back for fear of not being stellar at whatever they wanted to participate in. I have.
I don't know what it will take, or how I will accomplish it, but I need to learn to put myself out there and take some risks so that in the end I won't be worthy of my current rebuke, "Thou wicked and slothful servant." Sounds harsh? Well it isn't, considering how I have lived my life. I need to change what He is going to say to me, because the current path is the last one I ever wanted to be on.
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