Sunday, October 31, 2010
2:10 PM | Posted by
Unknown
I'm sure you have heard about what it means to live in the moment. It is to accept what is at that time and just run with it. Don't question what could be or worry about what isn't, just accept what is and work with it when it happens. This way of living provides us with a level of spontaneity that, in some situations, is very admirable. There is also living for tomorrow, being aware of future needs and preparing for what is surely to come by making preparations today. Living in the past robs us of all the present and future joys, because we can't let go of what used to be or what happened in a single defining time of our life. Then there is living for today, an expanded version of living in the moment. Living for today means that our focus, our world view and vision of reality is centered around the here and now. It is part of the "eat, drink, and be merry" syndrome that has caused our society to become so short sighted. It is because we tend to live for today that we make unwise choices that have negative impacts on our lives in the future. We pick up addictive habits that hobble our abilities to feel the Spirit or learn wisdom. Living for today keeps our focus on what feels good now, what interests will serve us best (as opposed to those around us), and how this can make us happy right now. It is short sighted and selfish, and most of the world lives this way. That is why our rivers are clogged with pollution and our land torn up and eroding away. This is what causes prosperity in one country and starvation next door. Living for today is self serving, and is the food of pride.
There is another type of living that I call living in the gasp. Let me explain. I used to have a difficult time comprehending how the different parts of Christ's Gospel fit together. I understood each part, but couldn't quite grasp the implications of how all the pieces fit together. One of the main ways people feel the Spirit of God is through the peace He brings to our heart and soul. This contentment and sureness of a principle or understanding we receive brings with it great satisfaction and happiness. But there is another type of experience that is more rare, and far more powerful than the gentle promptings and assurances we receive from the Holy Ghost. I don't know what to call it, except to label it the Gasp.
I have found that once in a great while I will be pondering something or listening to someone and will get to thinking about how something in the Gospel works. As I focus and ponder further on it, bringing into my mind references from various parts of the scriptures and teachings of the prophets, something happens that is unlike any other experience in mortality. I would call it a movie, but it is more than that. It is like I am watching the things of eternity, but I am actually there, not just watching, but experiencing first hand, feeling the senses that you get when you actively participate in a live event. Your ability to comprehend and grasp the event goes beyond the visual comprehension of a movie. I actually begin to see how all this personally affects me. I begin to grasp my place in the eternal scheme of things. I begin to understand why the Lord has told us to do certain things. But more importantly are the feelings that come.
When I begin to really internalize a gospel principle, like how the atoning sacrifice of Christ makes it possible for me to repent, I begin to realize how lost my soul would be, how hopeless my plight, how vain my own efforts would be, if not for His sacrifice on my behalf. I don't understand how great that sacrifice was, but I understand how pitiful my own strength is in the eternal matters of my soul. I am overwhelmed with many feelings at once. I feel sorrow for my own stupidity, and the cost He had to bear because of it. I feel wonder beyond my ability to express it for how such a sacrifice was even possible. I feel humbled by my own insignificance, yet am lifted up by my recognition that this was all possible only because we are literal children of God, and He has done all this and more in order to save his precious children.
Such feelings are almost more than one can bear. But there is the culminating feeling that always comes last. It is the zenith of the spiritual injection. The feeling is actually a two-for-one deal. As my shock at my own nothingness begins to subside, there is a growing sense of gratitude that replaces it. Thankfulness that someone loved me so much that worlds were created for my benefit. Thankfulness that someone loves me so much that He was willing to pay whatever price Eternal Law demanded in order to open a way for me to be rescued from an otherwise inescapable situation, for I am incapable of saving myself.
As I begin to fully experience this rush of gratitude, it is accompanied by an overwhelming need to express that gratitude. I used to think, "How vain. Why would the Lord allow choirs to sing His praises night and day for all eternity? That seems so vain." But when I am in the process of realizing just how lost I would be without my Father's plan and my elder brother's sacrifice for me, my only desire is to sing praises to my God and His Christ forever and ever. This is the gasp. I catch my breath and struggle to breath as my soul reverberates with alternating waves of gratitude and desires to shout His praises all the day long. My devotion at those times is pure and genuine. I want nothing more than to glorify God. I know my place. I know where I belong. I am excited that this being, to whom I owe so much, wants me to be with Him, wants me to be a God, like Him, and loves me without limits or conditions. I weep, and the tears flow freely, without restraint.
I don't know how long these experiences last, but I can't imagine they last more than a few moments. But that is long enough. I couldn't handle more than that. This is like a feast for the soul. I feel more satisfied, more fulfilled, and more content after one of these experiences than from anything else. If this is spiritual food, then I can see why the Lord says he delights in fatness.
Living in the gasp means to live each day with a bright recollection of who we are, and our purpose for being here. It is to have a keen understanding and sense of appreciation for the love our God has for us. It is to understand that people are more important than things, and that sometimes they are even more important than my petty wants. Living in the gasp is living with Eternal perspective, living each day from God's perspective of why I am here.
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