Of Life and Times

This post is for my wife and children. Elaine and I were talking about our families during the days just before Christmas, and I happened to mention a story about my mother. She has encouraged me to write it down, so here it is.

When I was twelve or thirteen we lived in Nebraska, just outside the airbase. Mom had recently purchased Herb Alpert's Whipped Cream record. On that record was a number named The Lonely Bull. It was great rhythmic music that was perfect for a strip tease. One day I was sitting in the living room all alone, just listening to the album. The Lonely Bull came on and out of nowhere this panted leg appears in the door frame of the hallway. It waves in small circles, and up an down before being withdrawn. Then an arm appears, a hand running up and down the door frame. I had no idea what was going on. As the music progressed, my mom appears around the corner stepping from side to side as she sachet-ed down the length of the long living room. As she moved through the room she was removing imaginary elbow-length gloves, one at a time. When one would come off she would swing the imaginary glove in circles over her head and toss it to the side, then begin on the next glove. I was stunned, but laughing. I was completely beside myself. I had never seen my mother be so silly.
I was speechless, but enjoying myself immensely. As Mom finished with a flourish of the second, unseen, glove she disappeared around the corner of the kitchen with a little flick of the back of her heel.

My mother has always been the most stayed of women, in most respects. But occasionally, during my childhood, she would come out of her reserved mood and do something completely unexpected. She is the one who taught me to "waltz" down the road in the car. We would have an eight track tape playing a waltz, and suddenly she would start swerving to the left and then to the right in rhythm to the music. It was usually done to the Blue Danube. Yes, we were alone on the road; she was usually a very safe driver. I found that my children loved it when I did it for them as well.

Come to think of it, she also taught us the "Thank You Momma." When we were driving we would occasionally come upon a small dip in the road that would make our stomachs feel like we were on a roller coaster that was taking a quick dive. She said that when she was a child she would say "Thank you Momma" each time her mother would hit one of those dips. Sometimes Mom would speed up just a little to give it greater effect. We loved Thank You Mommas.